Cogitations by Brad

I can’t seem to stop worrying about everything.

I recently got a ticket, and I opted to take drivers safety. I thought I would have to pay $30, but that all my fees to the county would be erased. Nope; court fees still apply. It makes me angry, upset, worried about funds, and a lot of other things. I thought the deal with drivers safety was to prove that I’m not a bad person, and because I haven’t gotten a ticket in the past year (or taken the course, actually), I agree to spend another 6 hours training to be a better driver. Basically all it does is to take it off my record. Woop-dee-doo.

I also found myself in a situation where my LCU bill was due (actually today). So last night, I wasn’t asleep, so I said, I’ll go pay for it… Guess what? The LCU Information Technology department decides to take down all the main servers for an upgrade on the day that I’m supposed to pay my bill. So I was on and off the computer trying to figure out how in the world I’m going to pay because they are going to have it down for multiple days. I finally found the link to the payment site through sneaky and ways that most people would not consider, but I think I should be payed (hopefully they won’t try to stick me with a late fee).

With all this, I just can’t seem to get much sleep. I sit in bed and find something to worry about. It’s mostly been money lately because my boss hasn’t given me work in a couple of weeks. I wish I could get this feeling out of my chest that seems to be a developing ulcer. I don’t think it is, because it’s felt a lot worse, and has gone away, but it’s still annoying not to be able to sleep.

I know the Bible says plenty about worrying, but that doesn’t make it any easier. Last night I had to say “God help me not to worry, give me some sleep tonight,” over and over until I finally went to sleep. It does help. If there is one thing in life I want to do without, it’s stress. Money problems bring on the most stress. Girls can be good at it too, but lately I’ve been lucky enough not to have any problems there, which is actually no luck at all; I’d rather have girl problems than not have a girl in my life at all.

I’ve been extra tired lately. I think the cold weather is getting to me. I like the cold because my wardrobe is expanded to all of my long sleeve shirts, jackets, and coats. The downside is that since I’ve injured my ankle, every temperature change makes it hurt, I’m getting dehydrated, and the extreme cold just isn’t fun. Plus, when I take a trip across the city, by the time my car gets comfortable, I have to jump back out into the cold. I’m sure we’ve all experienced it before though.

It’s hard to post on topic when I don’t post very often. Sometimes I just want to blurt everything that comes to mind, but then I go back later and get rid of every subject that is secondary. It’s a challenge.

So, I’m back to blogging away from the jibjab of Facebook and Xanga. I’ve decided that a lot of people don’t really care what cool things I’ve done in my latest program, or what epiphany I’ve had in the past week. I’m not saying that everyone feels that way, but I’m sure more people would actually read my posts by searching than those who are just see them because we happen to be classified as “friends” on a social-network.

I’m usually a Drupal fanatic when it comes to software, but I’ve decided to go with WordPress for the blog, because as I heard it recently compared, drupal is like a Swiss-Army knife, and WordPress is a motorized can-opener, and opening a can is so much easier with the motorized can-opener.

I’ll try to post more later. This is kind of a generic post, but I’d like to be more topical with posts from now on.